Michael James posted an ever so interesting article on his page the other day. It was all about an old article from 2003 out of a since defunct magazine. You can read the whole thing here, but the bit that made me laugh was at the end.

Interviewer Sterling McGarvey asked the almost obligatory question – if a movie was made about you, who would play you? And in standard Derrick May fashion, he answered that he’d play himself.

The film would be so far fetched, you’d be wondering how much of it was real. But to be fair, there would be no shortage of content for the action comedy movie. The plot would consist of an ageing 58-year old from Detroit who was trying desperately to stop his life from crashing down.

Allegations from numerous women of sexual assault and rape, alongside claims that he faked being a musician for decades threaten to bring down the curtain on his entire way of life.

Action scenes would feature May resorting to increasingly desperate tactics to avoid being served court papers. The action and comedy could merge in a bizarre scene where Carl Craig lends May some of his clothes so that he can get past an angry lawyer, whom May hasn’t paid, without being spotted. Extra points if he does a dodgy accent.

Comedy could come from a scene where he hurls himself into Juan Atkins’s trash can in order to avoid an unwanted encounter with arch-enemy Michael James. Or a scene where Kevin Saunderson is cleaning his swimming pool and pushes May in because he’s not doing any work.

A particularly poignant scene would appear later in the film, with the Movement festival taking place without May. It quickly transpires the only movement he’ll be making that day is the sort you put into a toilet.

But the only question that remains open is exactly how the film would end. And right now, that’s a question only real life can answer…

More serious revelations about May continue later in the week…