Which American house DJ is already hawking around for a St Patrick’s Day gig next year? The festival for the patron saint of Ireland (oh, and thanks to some Irish bishops, Nigeria too) takes place on a Thursday next year and the DJ has a space free in his schedule he wants to fill.

Apparently, the DJ fancies playing in Dublin, saying he’s wanted to do it for years. His agent has been tasked with emphasising the DJ’s many connections with Ireland – which isn’t going to be an easy job, seeing there aren’t any.

His family heritage is thousands of miles from the country, and he can’t even claim to be a regular visitor. The last time he did anything with Irish connections was when he played a club a few years ago in Liverpool – which is owned by an Irishman. And seeing that Liverpool is in England, that’s about where the links end.

The DJ isn’t providing much material to make his agent’s job easier, is he?