One thing which I’ve wondered about a lot recently – well, over the past 20 minutes, anyway – is how old the average reader of dance music publications actually is. Are they read mostly by fogeys who think everything was better in the nineties, or young whippersnappers who think anything made before 2020 is old?

If DJ Mag’s latest article is anything to go by, there must be a fair number of old codgers who are supposed to have grown up by now. An events company called Big Fish Little Fish are putting on so-called family friendly raves over the New Year’s Eve period. The parties are two hours long and finish by 4pm – meaning you’ll get to bed even earlier than DJ Sneak does.

Meaning the kids can play in sensory rooms and soft play whilst the adults can listen to old music in the background. And after that, the kids nag you for a McDonald’s and you go home to celebrate New Year’s Eve in pretty much the same way almost anyone with kids does.

Namely by doing the same as you would any other night of the week. There might be slightly more alcohol involved than normal, but that’s about the extent of it. And yes, that probably means being in bed earlier than DJ Sneak, as I mentioned before.

If you haven’t got kids, this will all probably make you want to delay that prospect as long as possible. Yet if you already do – I have three, if you’re wondering – the disco of a New Year’s Eve party and still being in bed at a reasonable hour will be bliss. Strange…