Which DJ just can’t stop farting? If this question looks familar to you, that’s because it is – it’s the same question I asked all the way back on Wednesday Whisper #22. Sadly, this somewhat noxious problem hasn’t gone away for the DJ in question – and word reaches me of an incident last weekend.

On Saturday night, he was doing a set at a club whose name this column obviously cannot divulge. The venue in question was unaware of the gassy issue the DJ has. Initially, this wasn’t going to be a problem – he played his first couple of tracks and the crowd appeared to be responding very well to his set of mostly house music.

But around an hour into his set, security staff noticed something unusual. Normally when a DJ was doing a set, clubbers would get all close to the person – but a curious degree of social distancing was being maintained by the crowd from the DJ. One bouncer decided to go down and investigate. Upon walking into the self-declared No Man’s Land, his nose soon picked up the reason why.

The odour was said to be particularly eggy. And the poor DJ’s problem remains unresolved…