Which DJ is currently trying to stop news from getting out about a recent sexual encounter? And it’s not just because the prospect of what his girlfriend will do when she finds out absolutely terrifies him – word is this particular lady has no tolerance for adultery.

Last weekend, he attended a Christmas party in his native city and ended up bumping into whom I shall simply describe as a female working backstage in the music industry. They first met at the start of the year – and although witnesses say there was clearly a spark between the two, social distancing requirements at the time kept them apart.

The two encountered each other by chance at the party and got talking. Upon which point, the DJ asked her whether she’d been double jabbed against Covid. After she confirmed in the affirmative and he duly did the same, he then asked her “would you like to go back to the hotel for a third jab?”. Classy indeed.

She accepted his offer and they spent the evening together. Unfortunately for him, the rendezvous did not fill the lady with Christmas cheer – quite the opposite, in fact. On meeting her friends for coffee on Monday, she was supposed to have described doing the deed with the DJ as “like spending an evening with a giant sack of potatoes”.

Aware of the potential ramifications if word of events gets back to his partner, he’s putting out the message he was “just discussing business” that evening. Interesting choice of euphemism…