Which manager in the dance music world has been attracting complaints of a malodorous nature over the past few weeks? It all started at the time he was given an early Christmas present by an acquaintance – a candle, of all things. But as this manager likes his office to smell nice, it was a good choice of gift.

It wasn’t long, however, before problems started to emerge. One person who went to his office said the place was smelling “musky” and another went as far to complain to friends about the odour being “just a little fishy”. After a while, someone told the manager about the issue.

He had a rummage around and found the original box the candle came in. It simply said “Goop” on it in handwritten text. Upon switching on his computer and searching this in Google, he was horrified to discover a friend had bought him a Gwyneth Paltrow candle. The one that supposedly smells like her downstairs region…