Yousef, Simon Dunmore and Hannah Wants all walk into a bar – and thanks to Twitter, we can see exactly how that conversation would go…

Dear oh dear. There are so many people in the world of house music who can’t see the wood for the trees these days. It’s getting to the point now where it might just be easier to stick them all on a large plane and leave them in a forest to get on with things.

Yousef must have been reading this blog again. You see, he’s finally cottoned onto the fact the modern music machine has a rather large component missing – the bit where they support new music, to create tomorrow’s classics. This is the main reason why I’ve effectively given up making music – no matter how good they are, you’re at the mercy of streaming platforms who care only about the majors.

Yousef’s comments, in turn, have been spotted by Defected boss Simon Dunmore – think of a wannabe Uncle Albert from Only Fools and Horses, only with less facial hair. He responded by complaining “There are too many template, formula productions. Records need hooks & musicality to have longevity. Those 2 elements are sadly lacking, not only in the music being made….but music being played”.

He’s not entirely wrong – but once again, Dunmore fails to see the wood for the trees. Who owns a record label which repeatedly releases remixes of songs from its own archive? Who owns a record label which has been on a buying spree in the past few years, snapping up historical house labels in the process? That would be you, Simon…

Hannah Wants then decides she wants to say something. Has she got a well argued and reasonably constructed argument which could add a new perspective to this discussion? Er, not exactly. Instead, she uses it as an opportunity for an utterly shameless plug to try and get her own track signed to Defected…

Yes, in a discussion about how to increase the longevity of house music nowadays, Wants has nothing to offer but spam. And rest assured Defected’s demo emails account today will now offer a lot more of the same after this, in the end, almost pointless debate…

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