Which increasingly portly DJ has reportedly added a box full of McDonald’s chicken nuggets onto their rider recently? This has just been the latest change for the DJ since they returned to work after pandemic restrictions began to ease – and their manager isn’t terribly happy about it.

Before the words Covid-19 entered the English language, the DJ in question considered themselves to be fit and healthy. They were determined, despite having a busy DJ schedule, not to fall into the trap many other jockeys of discs have landed in over the years – a trap containing copious amounts of takeaways, chocolate, alcohol and other drugs.

They used to go to the gym at least three times a week – but they stopped going at the first Covid lockdowns in 2020 and never returned. Not only that, but their manager has increasingly been fielding questions about why there’s much more of their client than there used to be.

The latest demand for a box of McDonald’s chicken nuggets at each gig – the biggest box available, too – is just the latest sign that all isn’t well. But the worst thing for the manager? KFC nuggets simply won’t do…