Which female journalist in the dance music press has got to that stage where her cocaine addiction is starting to affect her work? The journo, who has a relatively high standing amongst her peers, was recently tasked with doing a terribly unexciting piece for one of the sites about gender splits in dance music.

Having been given their assignment and a deadline, along with details of the cash on offer for the job, she dutifully set to work. There was just one potential problem – she’d just snorted a line up her nose a few minutes earlier and it was beginning to take effect. Thinking this would spur her on to work faster, she wrote it whilst somewhat off her face.

She submitted the piece to the editor via email that evening. The following morning, she received a response from the deputy – who is also a personal friend of hers. The deputy kindly informed the journalist she’d sent a three page document filled with nothing but exclamation marks and number ones.

Mercifully for the journalist in question, the deputy spiked the “piece” – the editor remains blissfully unaware of the incident, although they might suddenly be aware of it now…