Which DJ was recently turned up for work looking a little worse for wear? This isn’t a particularly new thing with this DJ, but for once, the reason was a little different – even if still related to the normal explanation. Allow us to elaborate, if you will.

This DJ is a fairly regular user of cocaine – and it usually means he looks a little erratic when he turns up for work at a gig or festival. However, he also shows up in a gregarious and happy mood – although fortunately, this is usually on the right side of happy without being downright manic. But he recently turned up for a show looking scruffy, but in an utterly miserable mood. So what was up?

It turns out the DJ had bought something special ahead of the gig – he even went out to collect it himself. However, when heading back to his hotel, he saw the outside was swarming with police. Paranoid that he could get stopped, he made the last-second decision to put his newly acquired purchase up his backside.

Literally.

Shortly before he set off to the gig, he felt the urge to empty his bowels. Just after flushing the toilet, he realised it wasn’t just stool which he’d just deposited into the bowl…