Which dance music press writer recently spent quite a lot of time doing something which he certainly wasn’t hired to do? He was recruited to head out to a festival and write a review of it for a prestigious publication – well, that’s how they see themselves, anyway.

Having agreed to how much pay he’d get for the job, his plane ticket was booked. He subsequently flew out to the festival, seemingly without a hitch. Everything was looking quite promising. After arriving at a hotel near the festival, he even did one or two interviews for his piece.

His employers were, so far, very happy. But according to two witnesses who were at the festival, the writer in question spent an awful lot of his time looking for someone to sell him drugs. They couldn’t tell us whether he was successful or not, but did mention he was seen searching for the illicit goods at least three times.

But the worst part of all? According to dance music press insiders with connections to the publication that had hired him, the piece he submitted was so bad, it’s almost totally unusable. Editors are currently scratching their heads over whether to publish it, publish a heavily edited version, or simply to scrap it altogether.

Not that the writer cares, of course – we’re told that he’s already been paid his fee…