Which regular dance music press writer is currently in relationships with two different women – and hoping neither finds out about the other? The apparent lothario has been with a romantic companion, who also happens to be in the dance music press world, for quite some time already.

But things started to become more complicated on a work trip a few months ago. Whilst having coffee with some colleagues, the writer bumped into another woman – and yes, you’ll be unsurprised to discover she also works in the dance music press. By all accounts, the two got on very well.

A little too well, in fact. Word has started to leak out within the press that this man is now in a relationship with the other woman. Quite how he’s hoping this ultimately plays out is a mystery – but right now, he seems to be hoping that no one finds out what’s going on, not least the unfortunate ladies in question.

Then again, perhaps his rather unreformed views on women might have something to do with all this – a stark contrast to the woke politics he espouses in his writing. A press source once told us that the writer is a fan of Myron Gaines – host of the notorious Fresh & Fit podcast, and who has referred to women as “whores” and “sandwich makers” on a number of occasions…