Things really should have advanced further in the plugin world than the likes of Perky Percussion Percolator by now. Released in 2005, this was a VST that showed a picture of cartoon breasts – and the further you dragged the hearts away from the nipples, the more delay you could add to your production.

I assure you that I am not making this up. And it gets worse. You’d imagine that in this more enlightened era, things would have changed now, right?

You’d be wrong. Meet the Nani Distortion Plugin by WX Audio. The purpose of the plugin is simple – to add distortion to instruments or entire songs. And from what I understood, it actually does this job extremely well.

Which makes the following gimmick all the more baffling. I don’t know whether lockdown is getting to the manufacturer’s heads, but the plugin includes an anime model on the right hand side of the window. As you might have guessed – in typical anime style, she has a rather generously proportioned chest.

As you turn up the drive knob on the drive and the distortion increases, the jumper of the anime model is torn off and her breasts start jiggling along to the music. Yes, it’s a little bit Eurotrash*, isn’t it?

And they wonder why barely five percent of all audio engineers are female…

* Old show that used to be on Channel 4 in the 1990s. It was crap.