As Derrick May turns 60, Ears To The House celebrates his achievements – which should make for a pretty short article…

Today in the fine city of Detroit in the state of Michigan, a man will be raising a glass in celebration. You see, April 6th is the birthday of Mr Derrick May of Farmington Hills – and today is one of those milestone birthdays. The man himself is now officially 70 60 years old.

Our sources in Detroit tell us that the alcohol is unlikely to be flowing in large quantities – and that if that does change, it certainly won’t be Derrick May paying the bill. His financial difficulties continue, an unsurprising development for a man who has barely done any gigs since 2020 – the year that numerous allegations of sexual abuse were made against him.

Indeed, Ears To The House understands a similar miserly sentiment was behind a recent ridiculous photo posted by Kevin Saunderson, desperate to keep the Belleville Three fairytale alive. Juan Atkins appears to be the only person actually eating any food in the photo – and one of our sources claims “the only reason Carl Craig was invited was because they needed someone to pay for the meal”. Ouch…

So what will the birthday boy be doing today? The answer, like with most things concerning Derrick May, is shrouded in mystery. Our sources tell us that the man himself was originally planning for a quiet day – partly because he’s got a European gig to get ready for this Saturday. And he may get his way – one source tells us that “A surprise party can’t be ruled out, but is unlikely. The Belleville Three guys are notorious for being tight skinflints.”.

Perhaps now that May has reached one of those milestone birthdays, he might be doing some reflection on his life and where things are heading. In his case, despite his current pathetic attempt at a comeback, May’s best days are very much in the past.

After all, more questions than ever are being asked about what role, if any, he actually had in the development of techno. Questions are being raised about why a so-called pioneer hasn’t released any new music at all since 1992 – not to mention how much work he did on those original compositions. And questions are being asked about why the likes of Carl Craig, Juan Atkins, Kevin Saunderson and Alexander Omar Smith continue to stand by their discredited old friend.

Still, perhaps some time away from Detroit will help. May has a number of gigs coming up over the next few weeks in Europe – although it’s unclear whether he plans to visit his old (well, not as old as him) on and off girlfriend Sofia Spin. She’s currently eight months pregnant and is due to give birth sometime in May. Perhaps the earnings from his work in Europe will pay for a gift for the newborn.

All in all, there doesn’t seem to be much for the newest member to the sexagenarian club to enjoy right now. So let us add to that by publishing this daft photo of Derrick May. And no, we have no idea what he’s doing, either…

Even if you have to get older, it appears you never have to grow up…

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