Some stories that we write about here at Ears To The House are so ridiculous that you’d be half forgiven for thinking we’d made them up. The story we’re about to report on can definitely be filed under that category – so much so that we ourselves thought it was a parody when we first stumbled across it.

If you’ve ever played Baldi’s Basics, you’ll understand the unsettling idea of everything just being a little bit off. Which was precisely what we felt when we saw the poster for the Freedom Music Festival, taking place between July 29th and July 31st in Sussex – the small detail of its location is curiously omitted. Here is the embarrassingly unprofessional poster in all its glory…

So what do you get for your £99? Well, you get anti-vaxxers slapheads Right Said Fred, DJ of “conscious music” Mark Devlin, and a load of names you’ve never heard – which is absolutely fine, because nor have we. And the headliner? Why, it’s only the okay-ish DJ and man who’s helped fill this site on many a quiet day, Danny Rampling.

Needless to say, we’re not exactly rushing to get tickets here. A quick look on their website isn’t helping instill confidence either – no postcode is provided as to the location, with simply a mention that it’s on the B2096 in rural Sussex. This ten mile long road is noted on SABRE Roads as “managing a journey of almost 10 miles without reaching any A roads” – and, er, nothing else.

Particularly bizarre is their claim that “if you get to the White Hart Public House TN33 9QH on your left uphill, you’ve gone too far, go downhill and look for the Yellow Smiley Face flag on the left-hand side”. We can’t help but get the feeling the good people who own the White Hart will be annoyed at the five or six cars doing U-turns in their car park that weekend.

More sinister, however, is the Freedom Music Festival’s roots. The festival is being held on the grounds of HOPE Sussex, who talk on their site about home educating children – believing that state schools indoctrinate kids. Yet as VICE reported recently, there are increasing questions over whether the likes of HOPE Sussex are themselves engaged in the indoctrination they accuse others of.

For a man who claims acid house and love is deep in his bones, Rampling does seem prepared to associate with some highly suspicious people these days. As Ears To The House reported last year, he openly befriended Katie Shemirani – a woman barred from the nursing profession for a minimum of five years because she used her position to deny the existence of Covid-19, whilst also referring to the NHS as “the new Auschwitz”.

The event concludes on Sunday with a performance from Jam For Freedom, which their website claims will “finish the festival on a massive high” so “you won’t want to go home”. Consensus at Ears To The House HQ is we’ll stay at home that weekend…