Which DJ was recently complaining to his entourage that his ritual before playing his set had a bumpy ending? The male in question, who has been in the trade for quite a few years, occasionally likes to partake in some cocaine sniffing a few minutes before show time – and his preference is to snort the drug off the bosom of a lady.

Now, the DJ isn’t particularly fussy about which lady provides the, ahem, surface for him to ingest coke – but by all accounts, he does have a preference for women with smaller chests. According to a source, he isn’t a fan of ladies with larger breasts – “I think it goes back to an incident in the 2000s when a woman with big boobs fell on him. He thought he was being suffocated”.

Anyway, for a show he did a few weeks ago, he requested that a promoter provide a suitable candidate to take his line off. Unfortunately, when he arrived, the promoter explained that he could only find women with larger busts willing to help – upon which the DJ went into a long self-indulgent tangent about how “unreasonable” everyone was apparently being towards him.

In the end, he did agree to snort a line off a topless lady – whilst making a crude joke about how he’d come back to “motorboat” her later. He wasn’t best pleased after his request was rebuffed by the lady, who promptly told him to “f*** off”…