This one is likely to land me in some hot water, not least amongst my colleagues here at Ears To The House – but if there was ever a time when the truth should be spoken, it’s now. And as I’ve discovered since almost day one of doing this, there are few places where stating the truth is less well received than in the dance music world.

Whether it be the lurid allegations of serious sexual misbehaviour from Derrick May and his Detroit friends railing against it, or the total inability of various figureheads in the scene to take any kind of criticism whatsoever, I’ve seen time and time again what happens when someone dares to tell it like it is. As much as I criticise the likes of Mixmag and Resident Advisor for their docile news coverage, let’s just say I’ve come to understand why they hold back in the way they do.

Firstly, I must state that I’m deeply saddened on a personal level to hear the news that Chicago DJ, singer, vocalist and businessman Ron Carroll has died following a heart attack at the age of 57. This is still a young age from a producer who has given much to the scene and still was – I understand he has releases forthcoming on DJ Spen’s highly successful Quantize Recordings and with Dave Lee, to name but two.

But let’s not delude ourselves. As important a figure in house music as Carroll was, it does an utter disservice to us all to pretend he was some kind of saint. He wasn’t. Just ask British promoter Karen Scargall, who’d booked Carroll to play three gigs in Britain three years ago, netting him £4000 in the process.

Except that Carroll seemingly took the money and ran, leaving Scargall out of pocket. Requests for a refund went unanswered, as did emails from Ears To The House offering a right of reply on the story. When he did eventually rediscover his voice, he only said he had “nothing but love” for Scargall – and certainly no money to repay her with.

Indeed, there are other reports which we received making further allegations about Carroll’s, shall we say, business activities – but a combination of being unable to fully stack up the facts and the risk of potential legal action if we got something even marginally wrong ultimately prevented publication. Which brings me to another topic.

The more observant of you will no doubt have noticed that Ears To The House has gone pretty much silent over the past 12 to 18 months – and the reason why is simple. If telling it like it is, holding others to account and demanding better of the dance music scene was worth it, I’d be out there doing this every day.

But the blunt truth is it simply isn’t. Calling out Mr C a few years ago for playing alongside plague rave DJs – having condemned their activities just months earlier – saw me receiving vile abuse that was personally orchestrated by the man himself. For a man who frequently talks about his mental health difficulties and urges others to be kind, he shows none of those considerations towards anyone who holds a different view to him.

Speaking out about Detroit’s very own Derrick May hasn’t been a breeze, either – whilst May’s career has never recovered and is unlikely ever to do so, I’ve had a fair amount of abuse from his supporters to deal with in the inbox. And whilst I’m grateful to every single person who has taken the time to read anything on Ears To The House – a remarkable achievement in an age with so many content options – I’ve come to the honest realisation that this, right now, just isn’t worth it.

The amount of work that went into this site was colossal – finding stories, checking and double checking information, obtaining quotes that add something new or different to the topic, writing it up, creating graphics and the like, are all jobs which take a lot of time. And in a scene where the dance music press is filled with clickbait, press releases masquerading as news and a highly questionable definition of news at all, I’ve concluded that I could be doing far better things with my life.

We all could – and I certainly am. I’m not going into details about my private life, other than to confirm I have plenty of other things going on  now – things that are far more rewarding than attempting to bring another perspective to a dance music world that’s far more prone to groupthink than most within in will probably ever realise.

Would I ever rule out a return of Ears To The House? Well, I’d never say never – but with that said, I’ll only be coming back if I’m surrounded a team of reliable, trusted people who are prepared to join me in the trenches, writing and doing everything else that comes with the territory.

Yes, I do miss the tremendous fun of typing up the Wednesday Whisper, nostalgically looking back for Monday’s Here’s Three They Made Earlier column, and the buzz of stories being published on the site – but until there’s a climate with more incentive and reward for doing so, it’s with some regret that I say that you shouldn’t expect to see us back anytime soon…