Kappa Futur Festival announce first batch of 2023 lineup, and it’s a full-on McDonald’s – but at least there’s no Derrick May…

Dear oh dear. It may be a brand new year for the world, but much remains the same as in the previous one. The economy is still on suspect ground, nobody quite knows when the war in Ukraine will end – and dance music remains in the same sorry state it was in last year. That injection of new blood that Ears To The House keeps arguing for has never been more needed.

But it seems that, at least for now, it’ll have to wait. As January goes on, the festivals are starting to reveal their lineups – and proving themselves almost universally deserving of the McDonald’s style criticism we frequently send their way. All these different festivals have different posters and locations – but the prices are extortionate and the lineups are much the same at them all.

Case in point – the Kappa Futur Festival in Italy, taking place from June 30th to July 2nd this year. They’ve just released their phase one lineup list – so to be fair, let’s start on a positive. Derrick May isn’t on the list. The occasional 59-year old DJ from Detroit was stuck on the lineup for 2022, but had to be cancelled following a mutiny from several other DJs who were extremely unhappy with his inclusion.

Unfortunately, that’s where our praise comes to an end. Take a look at this sorry mess…

Carl Cox, Carl Craig, DJ Tennis, occasional cup chucker Maceo Plex – is this really the best they have to offer? One of our sources described the lineup as being the equivalent of a “corporate happy meal”. Withering, but we honestly can’t disagree with their verdict.

We’re also promised an appearance by the Swedish House Mafia, who will apparently be playing techno. The fact they’re basically EDM superstars is conveniently overlooked, yet we’re promised they’re going to play “a very special techno set”. The mere prospect of hearing their interpretation of “techno” in any vaguely normal dance scene would have the average person running for the hills.

Yet here? It’ll probably help the festival sell an awful lot of tickets. The McDonald’s festivals look set to continue thriving in 2023 with their full-on business techno mindset – whereas the scene is reduced further and further into farce…

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