A question that we occasionally ask – mostly so that our readers don’t have to – is what exactly do DJs do on their day off. And the answers, more often than not, are actually incredibly boring. Hence why almost nothing on the subject ever gets published. But how do they keep themselves occupied during a lockdown, of all things?

Sasha and John Digweed were both asked this question in separate interviews a few years ago during the Covid craziness. And their answers are even more boring than the average person – Sasha says he spent it making bread and presumably eating said bread, whereas John Digweed was so incredibly bored during lockdown that he couldn’t even tell us anything specific.

Anyway, it appears the two men are going to be getting together over the Easter weekend, and they’ve chosen to grace Belfast with their presence, no less – with tickets at a reasonable £30…

Great if you like that sort of thing. And the dance music press certainly did, waxing lyrical about the prospect, as if it was somewhere up there with Mozart and Beethoven getting together for a collaboration. As you might have guessed, Ears To The House takes a different view.

That view is that both of these men are crashing bores in their own right. And together, they’re even worse. Try as we might – and most of us have over the years – we just can’t warm to what the two men play these days. We loved classic Sasha from the early 90s and even the Sasha from around the millennium – same with John Digweed.

But nowadays? They just leave us cold. Don’t ever expect this view to appear in the dance music press, however. They’re more than content to believe the hype they created decades ago – remember Mixmag’s ridiculous decision to call Sasha “the son of God” in 1993? These are the same people who still accept the Belleville Three story as gospel, after all.

Irish comedian Ardal O’Hanlon previously said that “Marriage is when two people are joined together to become one desperately boring person”. On this particular marriage, we couldn’t agree more.

And besides, dance music’s human diazepam role has already been filled by Solomun…